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Dear Mr. Simon,

I can't believe that bitch! And if you read yesterday's paper you'll know what I'm talking about: The interview the Chicago Sun-Times did with Lara. It was a year ago yesterday that the jury made their decision to put me here. I guess the powers-that-be at the Sun-Times decided to run an anniversary piece interviewing Lara, making her look like a saint, a "heroine for helping to expose the corruption among some of the most powerful men in the city." Bullshit! She's no saint, believe me.

As I said in my previous letter, my life began spiraling out of control after the first time I was with Lara. At first I didn't realize why, because we only saw each other maybe a couple times a month, and my life OUTSIDE of the relationship with Lara seemed to be what was changing most. One moment I'm working a shitty day job as a short-order cook at the diner down from my old apartment, and earning an extra $200 - $300 a week selling mostly pot and pills. The next thing I know I've got deals going on like you wouldn't believe, enough that I quit my job and moved to a cool apartment close to the downtown area, all by making new "business" acquaintances. And it was Lara who set those wheels in motion by 'inadvertently' introducing me to these new acquaintances.

At first, my relationship with Lara was purely a physical one. We saw each other once or twice a month for sex, although we saw each other once or twice a week socially, since that was about how often I was over at her house visiting Gabe. It was about that time that Gabe developed a pretty expensive coke habit, like a lot of his friends. Not only was I still selling bags of weed to him and his little friends, but it went from 1/2 ounces to 1/2 pounds - they were selling weed to support their coke habits. And I became a very busy man, the life of the party, the 'special invited guest', going from house to house, party to party.

But I always made it a point to hang out awhile at the Hauptmann residence. I knew, if nothing else, that Lara and I would at least 'expose' ourselves to each other when no one was around, or brush up against each other when someone else was in the room: "Oh, sorry!" "No, it was my fault, I was standing in your way." And if I was REALLY lucky, we'd sneak into the bathroom and I'd get a blowjob.

I particularly liked the parties Gabe threw. Usually about a dozen guys would go over to Gabe's house and hang out, play video games, and drink and do a few drugs. I often wondered then if Lara knew we were doing more than smoking pot (it's my opinion - knowing everything I know now - that she did), because she pretty much left us alone.

They had a family room and a game room in the basement, so the guys usually hung out in the game room, listening to the stereo and playing pool. Lara stayed in the family room, either watching TV or using the computer. Sometimes the guys went to Gabes' room, whenever they wanted to play video games or drink or smoke some pot or do a few lines.

But there was a large screen TV in the family room, and occasionally, if there was a big sports pay-per-view, such as a boxing match, we'd all be in the family room watching it. Lara would either watch it with us or sit at the other end of the room and use the computer.

This was where I happened to be the night I was arrested for the first time.

* * * * *

I'd already seen Lara a few times before that night. For one thing, she had forgotten to get her bud after that night of wild sex at my apartment, so I called her the next day to let her know this. I told her she should stop by and pick it up, but she said, "I don't want to come to your apartment anymore - I can't take the chance that one of Gabe's friends, or even Gabe, might drive by and see my car there."

Hmmm. I'd have to do something about that. "Well," I said, "I'll bring it by this evening around 6:00, okay?"

"Okay," she said, "but call Gabe and tell him you're going to stop by and hang out or something, so it doesn't look suspicious."

God, she was paranoid about us getting caught together, and about her kids finding out she was buying pot from me - at the time I just thought it was because she was married and wanted to be a good parent, but now I know there were other reasons.

Anyhow, I get over there, and of course Gabe stayed in his room all evening, and Lara stayed in the basement on the computer.

At one point I excused myself to use the john, and I sneaked downstairs. I came up quietly behind her chair and put my hands on her breasts from behind.

"You got something for me, Horowitz?" she asked, not turning around or looking up to see who it was. I guess she saw me approaching from the glare on her computer screen, but she just seemed distant, like she wanted to get this over with.

So I took my hands off her breasts. "Ummn, yeah," I replied, digging the baggy out of my pocket.

She turned around then in the swivel chair and, reaching into the low cut jacket she was wearing, pulled a $50 bill out of her bra. "Here's the cash."

She was wearing a sexy black dress suit. The skirt had slits up both sides, and the dress jacket came down just to the top of the slits. With its low cut V-neck and fitted waist, the suit molded every sensuous curve of her body.

As we made the exchange, I commented, "You're looking quite sexy today, Mrs. Hauptmann."

She began unbuttoning the jacket then. "Job interview... had to wear my 'power suit'." She began to open her legs, just enough for the side slits on her skirt to part and reveal her gorgeous thighs, giving me a view of her sexy legs all the way up to her hips.

I had fucked this woman every possible way imaginable just days earlier, but I realized I knew nothing about her. So I asked, "What kind of job are you looking for?"

She undid the last button of her jacket and replied, "Legal secretary." Inserting the baggy into one of her lace bra cups, she then stretched out, sort of sinking down in the chair. Rubbing her hands lovingly over her breasts, then down her belly and over her skirt, she said, "You'd better go back upstairs before Gabe wonders where you're at." Then she sat up and swiveled her chair back to the computer.

I thought, "Goddamnit!" But she was right, if I didn't go back up soon Gabe might come downstairs looking for me.

I saw her a couple more times before the night I got arrested. It was always the same, she'd just tease me, knowing it would drive me crazy with desire for her.

And then came the night of the pay-per-view.

Because they had a satellite dish, Gabe's house was one of the few we got together at for the boxing matches. We couldn't get the pay-per-view feeds on cable, so we usually got together over at Gabe's, everybody throwing in a few bucks.

I had over a thousand dollars worth of shit with me that night. I can't remember exactly what I did have, but there were 5 or 6 sheets of acid, a couple fistfuls each of Xanax and hydrocodones, and several grams of coke in my baggy jeans pockets. Out in the glovebox of my Chevy Beretta were several bags of marijuana. By the end of the night I only had a few pills left. At the time, it was quite a nice little hook-up... and thinking about it later, I was just glad I'd managed to sell the majority of the stuff or the arrest could have been a lot worse.

It was a big party, maybe 30 people there. At any one time there were kids in the family room watching the fight, some were in the game room playing pool, others were in the kitchen feeding their munchies, while a few would occasionally go to Gabe's room and play video games and hang out.

I had been in Gabe's room doing lines, watching a few guys play video games. Bored with that, I decided to check out the fight and see if Lara was still down there.

The Hauptmann's had a large family room. The sofa, which was in the middle of the room facing the TV, formed the back part of a U-shaped sitting area that also included a love seat against one wall and a couple chairs against the other. The area behind the sofa, on the other side of the room, was set up as a home office with a desk and computer. Lara was sitting there, apparently doing some paperwork.

I came into the family room during the 4th round. The sofa and chairs were all taken, with people even sitting on the floor around the coffee table. So I set one of the folding chairs up that Gabe had brought down earlier in the evening, placing it behind the couch.

During about the 6th round, the guys were getting pretty animated and loud, so Lara pulled a chair up beside mine and said, "Must be some fight - I want to watch the rest just to see why these guys are getting so loud."

Even though everyone's pretty much in front of us, it wasn't like we could do anything - there were just too many people in the room. So I said, "De La Hoya's doing some serious damage, but Chavez isn't out of the picture yet."

She nodded and simply said, "Cool." The next thing I know, she's reaching over and undoing my belt!

Unless one of the guys sitting on the couch would look over their shoulder, or someone walked in from one of the other rooms, I realized that no one could really "see" us.

I helped her undo my belt, and then I unzipped my pants and pulled my boxers down just enough to free my now fully erect cock. I kept my T-shirt over my cock, just in case someone should happen to look around. I thought it would conceal what we were doing, and sure enough, a couple times someone on the couch would turn around and make a comment, and Lara would pull her hand away just in time.

The hand job she was giving me was good, but I think the fact that we were surrounded by over a dozen other people was what made me get close so fast.

I yanked my T-shirt back, indicating I was about to cum. This was her baby, her call - if she was going to keep jacking me off in the same angle she had been, my hot seed was going to hit Sean Watkins in the back of the head. I thought she might angle it to hit the couch, or towards me... hell, she could have simply stopped. So I was surprised when she leaned over and took me in her mouth just as the first spurt of hot cum was about to exit my engorged cock.

She was down for just a few seconds, milking every last drop from me. No one saw or suspected a thing.

I started zipping my pants back up, and she stood up then, saying to no one in particular, "I'm going to bed."

I waited about 10 minutes and went upstairs. Seeing no one in the kitchen - the rest were either in Gabe's room or in the game room - I sneaked down the hall, hoping no one would come out of Gabe's room before I got to Lara's door.

Her door was shut, so I prayed that she had left it unlocked. The knob turned easily in my hand, so I opened the door and entered.

She had lit several candles, casting a soft glow about the room. Locking the door behind me, I turned around to survey the room, looking for Lara. There was an open doorway on the far side of the room, and I could see a shadow framed against the door.

She didn't seem surprised when I came up behind her. Looking at me from the bathroom mirror, she said, "I was wondering when you would get here."

For some reason, this was a frequent way for us to communicate; me standing behind her, both of us facing either a bathroom mirror or a bedroom dresser mirror and looking at each other's reflections.

I slid a bra strap down and kissed her shoulder. "I waited as long as I could... someone might have gotten suspicious if I'd have left the room right after you."

She was wearing a lacy white bra and some lacy white hi-rise bikini panties, having shed the rest of her clothes on the bathroom floor. As I took the other bra strap in my teeth and began slowly pulling it off her shoulder, she unsnapped the front hook of her bra, saying, "It's sweet of you to be so cautious. Now fuck me."

I watched in the mirror as her breasts swung free of their restraints. The thick padding of the push-up bra had provided a sort of shelf for them, so it seemed they were even firmer and higher than I remembered. The perfect balance and natural teardrop shape they formed made me want to suckle at them like a baby. She turned around then and, cupping her right breast, she said, "I want you to suck it, Josh... please."

I began sucking her breast, flicking her nipple with my tongue while inching her panties down with my hand at the same time. I inserted a finger into her, inciting a moan from both of us as I did. She started undoing my belt then, so I gave her a hand and unzipped my jeans, letting them fall down around my ankles.

Taking her by the waist, I said, "Turn around and face the sink."

She did this, bracing her left hand against the mirror. Spreading her legs a bit, she slipped her right hand down between them. "I love it when you tell me what to do," she said, moving her hips rhythmically against her fingers. "I think I'd do anything you asked of me."

"Oh, yeah?" I replied. "Then take your fingers out of your pussy, Lara, 'cause I'm ready to fill it up."

As if that little remark had reminded her to do so, she reached into a jar by the sink and pulled out a condom. "Here - wear this," she said, handing it to me.

Shit. "Bitch, I'm not wearing a fucking rubber," I said, flinging it across the room.

She turned around then. "I'm not your bitch, Mother Fucker, so you better quit calling me that shit."

"You sure as hell act like one sometimes. You fucked me like crazy the other day without using a fucking rubber... I didn't hear you complain then."

"Well, I got carried away. From now on, though, we use a rubber."

"Don't you get it?" I asked. "I think it's a bit late now, 'cause if either of us had a disease, we've already passed it on to the other one."

"Listen, Mother Fucker, I don't know where the hell your cock's been..."

Cutting her off, I said, "And I don't know where your pussy's been, bitch. And as long as you keep calling me a mother fucker, I'm gonna keep calling you a bitch, got that?"

She started laughing. "But you ARE a mother fucker, Josh. You are fucking someone's mother, in case you've forgotten."

"Not yet," I replied, turning her around. "But I'm gonna be fucking her right... now," I said, positioning myself between her legs.

My cock slid right in. Her juices were flowing tonight; she was probably still wet from giving me the hand job earlier.

She was bent over, bracing her arms on either side of the sink. I grabbed her by the hair and pulled her head up. "I wanna see your face when you cum," I told her.

Looking at me from the mirror, she bit her lip and grimaced as she forced her hips back against my pelvis, impaling my cock with her pussy. My balls slapped hard against her mound. I felt her pussy muscles tighten around my throbbing cock. "And I want to see your eyes," she said, grinding her ass against me. It was like she wanted more, like my fat cock wasn't enough for her, the way she was gritting her teeth and pressing back against me. I reached around and started rubbing her clit with my finger.

She closed her eyes in pleasure when I began playing with her clit. "Open your eyes, Lara... Just keep looking at me in the mirror," I instructed. I let go of her hair then and began using my other hand to play with a nipple, pinching and tweaking it between my fingers.

"God, I'm so close," she moaned.

I was ready to explode myself. "Let's go," I said, as I began to furiously pump away at her pussy.

Our eyes were locked together in the mirror. Her mouth opened slightly, and she began moaning little "unh"'s of pleasure, her body trembling under me.

I had to take my eyes away from hers reluctantly when they rolled up, behind my eyelids, as wave after wave of pleasure assaulted me.

After we came, I wrapped my arms around her waist and planted little kisses along her back.

"God, Lara - when are you gonna come to my apartment again? 'Cause I could fuck you all the time, woman... but it's been way too long, over 2 weeks now."

"I've already told you: I can't risk somebody seeing my car there."

Looking up at her reflection in the mirror, I couldn't help but notice how, right after sex, she looked more her age. Her hair was always mussed up afterwards, due to my constant grabbing of it. Her makeup was usually a little smudged, sort of accenting the fine little lines around those deep blue eyes. She always had this "cat that swallowed the canary"-look of satisfaction on her face right after we fucked, and this sexy, trampy look just made her all the more beautiful to me.

"Lara..." I began, wanting to say it, to tell her how I felt about her, but not wanting to, you know? You don't have to say it, I thought to myself... you just have to convince her to see you again. "Lara, you could park somewhere, and I could come pick you up."

She thought about this. "Maybe", she said softly, looking at me with the same longing I felt for her. "It would be nice if we could get together again."

"Yeah, it would," I replied.

Removing my now deflated cock from her, I backed away and pulled up my jeans. She started putting just her jeans and shirt on, saying, "Let me run out in the hall, make sure no one is around when you go out."

I grabbed her arm before she could leave, pulling her towards me. "Call me," I said, before pulling her into my arms and kissing her.

Pulling away, she smiled smugly at me and said, "I've got something for you." Reaching into the same jar she had taken the condom from, she pulled out a magic marker. Picking up my hand, she said, "I have a cell phone now, so call me when you want to see me again and leave a message on my voice mail."

Looking down at the number written on my hand, I was reminded of doing the same thing when I'd given her my number, and the smart remark she'd made afterwards. I couldn't help it when I replied, "Is that supposed to impress me or something? Geez... just call me when you wanna fuck again."

She grinned then, giving my arm a fake punch. "Asshole!" she said, turning to go out again.

"When is your birthday?" I asked before she left the room.

"Why do you want to know?"

I didn't want to tell her what I had planned. "You said you had a birthday this month. I just want to know when."

"It's next week," she said suspiciously. "Why do you ask?"

"What day?" I persisted.

"The 13th, okay? Do you feel better now?"

I laughed, smacking her ass. "Go check the hallway, " I instructed, watching her sassy hips sway as she left the room.

I left that night thinking about Lara, thinking about what we might do the next time she came to my apartment. I was still thinking about her when I saw the blue and red flashing lights in my rear view mirror.

The cops gave me a Breathalyzer test, and I blew just over the limit. This gave them a reason, they said, to search the car and pat me down. They found a couple dozen pills in my pocket, and less than a quarter ounce of my own personal stash. I was looking at losing my license, and maybe jail time for the possession charges. Plus, they kept asking where I'd gotten over a thousand dollars from... I knew I didn't have to say anything without an attorney, but I was sure not having an answer for them made it pretty obvious where the money had come from.

The next time I was over at Gabe's house, he told me that I should talk to his mom about getting a good lawyer. "She used to work for a lawyer, so she can probably recommend somebody who could get your charges reduced - maybe even dropped."

Although I knew I couldn't afford a lawyer, I also knew I was fucked if I used the public defender. He was known as a real conservative prick, likely to cause more harm than good.

Gabe and I went downstairs, where Lara was using the computer. I explained to her what had happened, and asked her if she could recommend a lawyer.

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